A popular trend emerged on social media in which people discussed situations and lived experiences that they feel they have become “too old for”. It is possible that some of the examples could differ as a result of personal upbringing, family background and other social factors. However, there are other ‘across-the-board’ experiences that may resonate with many. In this edition of She Takes a Peep, we explore a few general experiences that people in and around my age might have surpassed. Here are five things that I am too old for.

The first thing I am too old for is not upholding my boundaries to please another person. As a child, I experienced a lot of shame as a result of low self-esteem. My home life was ultimately toxic, coupled with patriarchal society silencing my voice at every turn. Now I have a semblance of who I am, I have become very comfortable advocating for myself and setting boundaries to ensure that I am not constantly allowing people mistreat me. One thing I will definitely not be compromising on is my boundaries and I do expect a person that claims to respect or love me to any extent to honor them.

The second thing I am too old for is friends with benefits or situationships. While I am aware they may be all the rave, I have decided to divest completely from these forms of intimate connections. These connections are mostly triggers of internal confusion. Grey areas and deciphering another person’s true feelings about myself takes a lot of energy that I just refuse to expend these days. As a woman in her mid-twenties, I have truly reached the point of being intentional about my peace over all. Being stuck in a roller coaster or round about situation with another person becomes more and more unappetizing as time goes on.

The third thing that I am too old for is FOMO or asking people to invite me to hangouts. At this point, I have concluded that if people want me somewhere they will simply ask me to be there. There are no mental gymnastics involved, as when I want someone around me I make clear efforts to ensure of their presence. If I am grown enough to make those intentions clear, I expect the people in my life to follow suit and do the same.

The fourth thing I am too old for is pretending somethings do not bother me when they clearly do. Personally, if I have been slighted, it makes no sense trying to rationalize my emotions just to appease another person. Society also conditions women to endure micro-aggressions, slights and other ‘not-so-serious’ occurrences just to prove a point. This also leads to us being susceptible to coercion and people pleasing because we have been taught to put a smile on and go along with whatever. When a person or situation makes me uncomfortable, I will state my discomfort. If my concerns are hastily dismissed, then I will make myself scarce.

The fifth and final thing I am too old for is letting another person tell me about myself when I know for a fact who I am. As I mentioned prior, I grew up having my voice silenced. This meant people made decisions for me; regarding my body, my beliefs and all other facets of my life. People projected on me as a result of my identity, because being fat means that everyone you meet becomes a sage adviser for weight loss and living a healthier life. Now, I do not let people talk to me like they know better or they are the chosen authority for my choices. Being an adult is difficult and comes with so much responsibility, but having agency is truly a silver lining of the entire experience.