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She Takes a Peep: “I Broke Up With My Long-Term Partner. What’s Next?”

Long term relationships are a core experience for many people, but what comes afterwards is usually more character building. Several factors may make or break relationships, but a person’s well-being…

  • Chiamaka Ejindu
  • 4th April 2023

People often talk about how difficult it is to go from a long-term partner back ‘into the streets’. For the most part, this is an incredibly daunting subject because no one wants to appear that they wallow in heartbreak. Thus, the complexities of the situation are not readily discussed. She Takes a Peep is here to give readers some much needed advice on how to navigate through these feelings while keeping yourself open to the possibility of more. More love, more fun and most especially, more sex.





The first tip and quite possibly the most important thing to understand after a break up is that figuring what you are looking for next may not be the easiest thing. If the relationship ended in heartbreak, the innate questioning will be even more heightened. For example, you may be particularly attracted to a specific type of person. However, the realization that said type of person just broke your heart turns you off from the others. Also, some people find themselves quickly trying to jump into yet another relationship. While you may decide to not take the sexual aspect of healing slowly, the emotional aspect definitely has to be. Your thought process is not in tip-top shape, so it is important to prioritize your own wellness even while getting back on the horse. Go on a few dates and get to know people. If the same red flags come up, count your blessings for a lesson learned and move on. Do not try to replicate your ex or traits of your old relationship onto another. Of course, things such as mutual respect or love for quality time may transfer, but do not overlook the harmful aspects in order to create a fairytale. For example, just because they like the same music as your ex does not mean it is meant to be.



The second tip is to have fun, but do so wisely and safely. If you have been missing out on getting yourself tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), you would want to do a full round of labs before having another partner. In the case that you choose to have sexual activity with a barrier, STI tests are still important. This is to keep proper track of your sexual health and that of any new partner(s) as well. Another good tip to note is that if you have not alienated your friends for the entirety of said relationship, you will likely have a small football team of people who are completely rooting for you. These people embrace you despite any shortcomings or state of your love life. They are there to meet you directly halfway and give solid advice when needed.



As a person who loves new experiences, I am always down to get a tattoo or a new piercing to signify the end—or beginning—of a new stage of my life. Which means, activities like getting body modifications can be incredibly cleansing and healing of all the unseen baggage from the previous relationship. While needles and pain may not be everyone’s cup of tea, experimenting with one’s hair is proven to boost confidence and inspire new looks. Traveling to a new place if funds are available is also another great way to meet new people, inspire freshness and take your mind away from its miseries. It may be difficult to focus on other things except the fall-out from the ended relationship, but try to keep up with some self-care as well. Nobody wants to look terrible in front of their ex, but it is also important to maintain a sense of normalcy for yourself during this tough time. So, do your skin care routine, and do not miss any of your grooming appointments or regimens. You will find the transition to be a lot easier this way.



Lastly, spend some well-deserved quality time with yourself. So much of having romantic relationships is another person constantly being in your face or stuck in your head. Try to see yourself as the same individual, even without the relationship. Search inwards and come clean with some truths about the former relationship. Get to know new people at your own pace, not the pace that they decide to set for building up intimacy. All these are sure fire ways of preparing for a new partner after a long-term relationship.

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