Lagos. The city where dreams are made—and where love can sometimes feel like a distant, unreachable star. If you’ve ever tried dating in this city, you’ve probably come across the saying, “They no dey love for Lagos.” SDC, The Cavemen, and Nsikak David turned that line into a gospel via their latest album, and honestly, they might be onto something. Even Damilare Kuku had to write a whole book about it, because let’s face it—everybody is mad in Lagos.

Ghost from Show Dem Camp captured it perfectly when he rapped: “See in Lagos, they say love is like the WiFi / The further you go from your babe, connection dies right? / Choose who dey choose you, don’t be the victim of a scammer.”

Dating in Lagos is like playing a game of musical chairs, except when the music stops, you’re left wondering if you were even in the game. Single people have all but given up, focusing on hookups over heart-to-hearts. Meanwhile, some people in relationships are still ‘outside’ chasing cheap thrills like it’s an Olympic sport. In Lagos, living  on the mainland while your partner lives on the island? That’s basically a long-distance relationship!

But not everyone shares this gloomy view. Toyosi, a young sports enthusiast in Lagos, had this to say:
“Dating in Lagos has been a positive experience for me. The key is to be realistic and date within your financial league. I’ve had two relationships—one ended due to finances—but I learned a valuable lesson. Love isn’t scarce in Lagos; it’s about finding someone who is ready and compatible. Approach dating with an open mind and focus on building genuine connections.”

Na Lagos spoil dating scene eventually sha. If na Ilorin now, if I say make you meet me for Royals that year, if you like no turn up. Abi je ka lo je ponmo ni museum or iya Yusuf/T&K. They have The place now and I saw people there the last time.

— Baro_Eleniyan (@Baro_of_Africa) September 17, 2024

So, Lagos isn’t all doom and gloom. People do find real love here. Yes, in this chaotic, traffic-jammed, nightclub-filled city. And some even get married and stay married for longer than you can imagine! Maybe they’ve got some secret “understanding” we don’t know about—who knows? Ego, an aesthetician in Lagos, echoed a similar sentiment, saying, “If you find someone with quirks you can handle, hold on to them—because there’s worse out there.”

I have seen yall in Lagos. there’s no way you can find a true love in that place. no way!

— Faruq Atofarati 🇵🇸 (@_atofarati) September 14, 2024

The truth is, when you’re dating in Lagos, you might not be the only one in your partner’s picture. There’s probably a whole roster you don’t know about. That’s just the way it is. But hey, love is possible, even if it sometimes feels like it’s only hanging around for a weekend staycation before disappearing. If you play your cards right, your love life might outlast the Third Mainland Bridge. You could even end up with kids born inside wedlock.

So, if you’re new to the Lagos love scene and trying to keep your sanity intact, here are some questions you need to ask when dating in this city:

1.Are you in a position where you can commit to answering the following questions honestly? YES or NO

2.If it became public knowledge that we are dating, would anyone feel entitled to an explanation and why?

3.Do you have the mental capacity to engage in a relationship right now?

4.Describe yourself from the perspective of your last partner.

5.How important is God to you in the foundation of your relationships?

6.Are you uncomfortable with the fact that these questions exist?

7.May I see our mutuals on social media?

8.Do you prefer men, women, or both?

9.Have you ever gone viral on social media for all the wrong reasons?

10.Do you think love exists in Lagos?

11.In your opinion, are you single? Is there anyone who would be offended if your answer is “yes”? And is there anyone who would assume you’d say “no”?

12.What’s your current definition of cheating in a relationship?

13.Have you ever ghosted someone, and if so, why?

14.What are the top three values you won’t compromise on in a relationship?

15.How do you handle conflict in a relationship, and what’s your biggest trigger?

16.Who pays for dinner dates, and how do you feel about splitting bills?

17.Have you ever experienced jealousy in a relationship, and how do you deal with it?

18.Do you believe in “love languages,” and if so, what’s yours?

19.What’s your stance on social media and relationships—are we posting or staying private?

20.On a scale of 1-10, how angry do you get?