There are feelings we’ve all experienced because we’ve seen them in movies, heard them in songs, or watched others go through the motions. We’ve become somewhat accustomed to these emotions, and we think we understand them—or at least have a grasp on things. But what about the feelings or experiences you can’t fathom until they happen to you?

No one prepares you for the nerves that kick in when you speak in front of a crowd for the first time. They don’t warn you about the overwhelming emotions that hit you on your last day of university. You’re rarely told how unlikely it is you’ll stay close with your favorite people after graduation. Also, no one explains how daunting it is to leave a country you’ve called home for years.

Many of life’s common experiences aren’t openly discussed. People often say things like, “I can never…” without realizing how much life can change their perspective once they’re in the situation themselves. Life has a way of confronting us with unexpected scenarios, often defying even our most vivid imaginations.

We spend so much time worrying about what the future holds, yet when it arrives, it often brings realities we never anticipated. There’s a point in our lives when we imagine our childhood best friends remaining constant. We make plans—promising to attend the same schools, to raise our kids as best friends, and to stick together no matter what.

But here’s a truth that many don’t talk about: friendship breakups can be just as devastating, if not more so, than romantic breakups. Here are somethings they do not tell you about friendship breakups:

You’ll Measure Every New Friend Against Them

Even with incredible new friendships, you’ll constantly notice how they stack up next to your old bestie. The memories and shared experiences with them will make it feel like something’s missing in your new connections.

You’ll Have to Relearn How to Share

Sharing intimate details or venting becomes awkward when you don’t have that one friend who knew everything. It’s a strange adjustment to make new confidants.

Your Inside Jokes Will Become ‘Just Jokes’ 

All those hilarious moments that made sense only to you two? Now, they’re just punchlines that sting when you remember them alone.

You’ll Rethink Everything You Ever Said To Them 

Did that joke hit too close to home? Should you have sent that “are you okay?” text? Overthinking mode: activated. The pain of being left just increases anxiety.

You’ll Miss The Little Things, Not Just The Big Moments 

It’s not just the trips, time you spent with their family or wild nights out, t’s the random midweek texts and spontaneous plans that hurt the most when they stop

You’ll Stalk Them Online More Than An Ex 

It’s not just about checking if they’re okay. It’s seeing who they’re hanging out with now. You’ll spiral when you notice they’re still doing this life thing without you.

Mutual Friends Become Awkward Real Fast 

You’ll suddenly feel like you’re at a custody hearing over who gets to keep which friend. It’s exhausting pretending like you’re cool with the friends that are still friends with them.

The Breakup Is Mutual, But The Pain Isn’t Equal

One person always moves on quicker, leaving the other to awkwardly pretend they’re fine while low-key mourning the one thing that kept you.

You’ll Feel Weird Telling People You ‘Broke Up’ 

Explaining a friendship breakup always sounds extra dramatic, but honestly, it’s just as painful as a romantic one, if not worse.

You’ll Face Unwanted Nostalgia

Be prepared for random bursts of nostalgia that hit you at the most inconvenient times. These waves of memory can be bittersweet and disruptive.

Your Playlist Will Betray You

Every song, from Beyoncé to that underrated artiste you discovered together, will become the soundtrack to your crying session in your bathroom. 

You’ll Reassess What You Value in Friendships

Losing a friend makes you reevaluate what you truly want in a friendship. It’s an opportunity for growth, but also a period of tough self-reflection.