Breaking up is like deciding whether to keep your phone. It might be cracked and slow, but it’s still been your lifeline for so long. Maybe it just needs a software update or a new case. But what if it constantly freezes or the battery dies? You have to consider whether the issues are minor annoyances or signs that it’s time to let go. Just like you wouldn’t stick with a phone that frustrates you daily, you shouldn’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anymore. Before you make a decision, ask yourself these key questions:

1.Have you made your needs clear?

Are you upfront about what you need, or are you waiting for your partner to magically figure it out? Spoiler alert: people can’t read minds. If you’ve been holding out, hoping they’ll just “get it,” that’s on you. Have you really communicated, or are you just quietly frustrated?

2.Are the problems on repeat?

Does it feel like you’re stuck in a bad remix, facing the same issues over and over? If you’re always dealing with more bad days than good, it’s a sign something’s off. Relationships have their ups and downs, but if the downs are the new normal, that’s a red flag waving hard.

3.What’s your role in this?

No one likes to admit it, but sometimes we’re the problem too. What patterns or behaviors do you bring to the table that could be causing damage? If you’re always defensive or constantly critical, that’s worth considering. Reflection time: How much of this is about them, and how much is about you?

4.Are your goals still aligned?

Do you both still want the same things? Maybe one of you wants to backpack around the world, and the other dreams of settling down. Are you supporting each other’s dreams, or are you on two different planets?

5.Is it a phase or forever?

Ask yourself: is your urge to break up because of something short-term—like a stressful job or a bad month? Or is it a deeper issue that won’t go away? Knowing the difference is key. Don’t throw in the towel over a temporary glitch if the foundation is still strong.

6.Are both of you willing to put in the work?

A relationship can only work if both of you are putting in the effort. Have you tried fixing things before? Did it actually work, or did you just slap a band-aid on it? If only one of you is showing up, that’s not sustainable. You can’t carry the whole load alone.

7.Do you feel safe being yourself?

If you feel judged or afraid to open up when something goes wrong, that’s a bad sign. Relationships should be your safe space, not a place where you tiptoe around, worried about judgment. Can you fully be yourself, or are you hiding parts of who you are?

8.Can you accept them as they are?

If your partner never changed, would you be okay with that? It’s easy to think someone will “grow” or “improve” over time, but what if they don’t? If you’re banking on them evolving into a new version of themselves, that might not be fair to either of you.