I have never been a looks over personality kinda girl, but sometimes you’d just prefer if you didn’t give your friends the “he doesn’t really take pictures” bullsh*t. So, sometimes I deviate from my core and actually follow looks. I mean the content of a container will never be tasted if the bottle is hideous and not aesthetically pleasing. Imagine you meet a human with a face like Keith Powers and an attitude like Joffrey Lannister. It would be a hard pass from me. I’d rather end up alone with my dozen cats and a truckload of happiness and peace.

Girl, let’s be so real right now. I can’t claim to be in the “looks > personality” camp when I literally gag at the first sign of undesirable behaviour. I think part of it is because I was raised right—in my house, chivalry and manners were non-negotiable. As a funny, interesting woman, you’d be lucky to be with me. So, you better bring your A-game in manners and character. I know no one asked, but I’m just saying.

To be honest, this may just be childhood trauma resurfacing via high walls I’ve built for myself. I didn’t feel like I was the most attractive growing up and definitely not part of the cool kids, and of course the cool kids are the attractive lot. It was then that I was unconsciously conditioned to expect rejection from attractive people, no matter how much I’ve blossomed since then.

But let’s talk about those times when looks do hook you in, like your dress on a door knob? You know those moments when you swipe right so fast you might sprain your thumb? And then you meet up, and it’s all going great until he starts talking and you realise his brain is about as deep as a kid size pool. It’s like unwrapping a beautiful present only to find a handkerchief inside. Sure, they might be useful, but you were hoping for something a bit more exciting and thoughtful!

And can we discuss the disappointment when your eye candy crush sends you a text full of grammatical errors? I mean, nothing kills the mood faster than “Your beautiful” or “Am tired” . It’s 2024 people, autocorrect is a thing! At that point, you start re-evaluating your life choices and wondering if you can survive on just cat memes and Netflix forever.

​​So back to the question:  Even though I claim to prioritise looks, reality sings a different tune. Sure, looks might catch my eye initially, but personality always wins my heart. I connect with those who are easy to talk to, who let me be my full, unfiltered self without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells.

I don’t blame the looks-over-personality crowd. While it might not be their initial intention, the outcome often speaks for itself. Ultimately, you’d want to settle down with your best friend, not just a model you can flaunt. Yes, it’s nice to show off a stunning partner to friends and family, but in 10-20 years, looks will literally disappear. What really matters is having someone who gets you, who makes you laugh, and who stands by you through thick and thin. I mean the vow literally states “till death do us part…” I’m not doing that with a terrible person. Would you?