While grief can be a core part of our existent, it does not define every facet of who we are. Remaining kind to oneself and not doing anything permanently drastic…
●31st May 2023
A sad post would be par for the course given the state of the country at this moment. While holding in baited breaths to see the length at which things will fall apart, She Takes a Peep discusses some feelings that people pass through after ‘chopping breakfast’. Although the term is mostly applied in a romantic fashion, there are many unfortunate emotions that we experience across the board after any kind of loss.
The first stage, and I believe the least talked about stage is anger. While sadness sets in after a while, anger is usually at the forefront of uncomfortable reactions. Our levels of anger and how we use this anger also takes major precedence and sets the tone of the situation. When a person allows their anger to get the best of them after a loss, this is usually what makes the situation unable to be fixed. It is very important to gauge your reaction to things, especially because you may search internally later on and find that you gave the emotion too much of your power. I remember when I would let my feelings go on for weeks on end to the point that I would be unable to focus on much else. It is imperative that as we grow older, we learn to handle disappointment wisely and tamper our emotions with common sense.
After anger usually comes deep feelings of sadness. I find that sadness often makes me feel physically exhausted. Coupled with clinical depression, it is almost a hundred percent likely that I have to feel these emotions despite my best wishes. Sometimes, I even think I may be getting through something then I come upon a trigger and go back to that low place. One thing I am getting better at with age is knowing what is worthy of my emotions. I have learnt to balance my attachment and give people a lot of space at the initial stage of our connection. This is because jumping head first into anyone’s life causes so many issues down the line.
When anger and sadness have taken their place, they usually give way to acceptance. Unfortunately if the first two emotions were mishandled, people will find that acceptance will be far from them. Many people often find themselves going back to the scene of their misery by constantly making effort to be attached to the person causing their trauma. They are unaware that they are only delaying the inevitable, which is the collapse of the connections. In the case where the relationship is incapable of being repaired, going back to the person only worsens the eventual ending process. Something that would have taken a few months to heal would now take years as a result of multiple blow-backs. The person causing the grief be motivated to keep hurting you just to see how much you will take before leaving them alone. It is very important to know when to go no contact and to try your best to stick with it despite temptations of resolve.
Grief can cause a variety of emotions and actions as a result of the pain. However, the experience can be character building. It is also something that everyone will find themselves going through at some point in life. While the process can be dilapidating, it can also help you be wiser going forward. Many people will try to see the bright side, but it is also okay to wallow. Then when you are ready, you pick yourself up and get going once again.
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