This week, Chiamaka takes a look at the age-long discourse about gifting sex for Valentines
●8th February 2023
A general discourse around Valentine’s Day is how absurd it is that many women seem content with offering their partners sex as a gift on the day. It is a running joke: babes will dress in a sexy lingerie and prop themselves against the bed, as if to say, “look at this cute gift I got you”. For many disgruntled men, the gripe seems to be that these same women will almost always expect their partners to do much more for them on the said Valentine’s day. Surely sex cannot be your gift to a woman, aren’t you a man? (in the case that you find it difficult to detect sarcasm, that sentence was included for humour). A lot of women often expect something more thoughtful and romantic: roses scattered across a hotel room floor and bed, designer bags or shoes, fancy tech, a spa appointment e.t.c. Before you continue reading, this article is specifically for people who believe and celebrates Valentines. If you do not, but your partner does, I’ll encourage that you give it a try this month. I find that it is mostly people who want to present a certain kind of nonchalance or rigidity who claim they don’t celebrate Valentine’s day even when they have a partner. Please loosen up, life doesn’t always have to be difficult.
Now, back to the matter, open and close. Sex isn’t the worst gift to give your partner for Valentine’s Day, at least if it’s done right. If sex is the special thing you’re looking to offer your partner on Valentine’s day then the least you can do is go the extra mile. Put in effort, before and after, and even during sex. You could include toys, role play, something different from what you’ll do everyday. You could even change the location you’re used to having sex; book a hotel room, be imaginative. If you are anything like me though, there is not much you have left out for special occasions. For couples who have healthy, explorative sex lives, then sex might not be nearly enough. This is why I am on team give an actual gift for Valentine’s Day. The real benefit of giving an actual gift is that, more often than not, it is much more sentimental than just sex.
One thing that never goes out of style is a good scent. Gifting your partner their favorite perfume or even a new scent that they might be into is always a nice way to keep your memory about them. That helps in effectively adding yourself to their daily routine. Personal gifts like these have that touch. Another great gift is a teddy bear with your voice programmed into it, if your partner has a keen ear for auditory stimulations. For people who would rather just spend the money, designer shirts and shoes or other material gifts work just fine too. As long as your partner is into that, which thankfully most people are. It’s however important to pay close attention to your partner. Some of these aforementioned gift might not be what they’ll like, if you’ve been paying attention, it shouldn’t be too difficult to know what to get them.
For the men, I am definitely expecting that you put your foot into making your girlfriend feel seen and loved this February, despite how much of a ‘hard-guy’ you could be. If she has put thought into pleasing you this Valentine, make sure she knows she is appreciated for her efforts so she keeps at it again. Not unless you want to receive just sex next year again, of course.