In Nigeria, we don’t really talk about sex, at least not openly and with nuance. We talk around it. So, when you introduce a topic that can make even some of the most progressive, sex-positive, liberal groups squirm, you’re doing more than attempting to break a taboo, you just might be taking a sledgehammer to it. We’re talking about period sex.

It’s bad enough that period and sex are individually two very taboo topics. Ask a room of Nigerians to talk honestly about one, and it’s awkward. Try talking about both together, and you’ve hit a conversational third rail. This cultural allergy is particularly acute in heterosexual relationships, which are often choked by traditional expectations. Good luck finding a Nigerian man who goes down on his partner or willing to admit that he does. Now you’re asking him to have penetrative sex with a menstruating partner. But what’s really behind the shutdown? Why exactly is period sex considered so bad?

The case against it usually starts with what we can call the “ick factor.” It’s visceral. The idea of blood is an aesthetic and logistical challenge that many simply don’t want to deal with. “For me, it’s just a no,” says Michael, a 25-year-old based in Lagos. “It’s not even a deep thing. I just don’t find it appealing. Why not just wait a few days?”

His sentiment is a common one and is tied to deeply ingrained cultural and religious ideas about purity. If regular intimacy already exists in a kind of open secret, then sex during menstruation — the literal, unavoidable reminder of a woman’s bodily reality — is one of the greatest acts of defiance against centuries of cultural, religious, and hygienic proscription. Both Christianity and Islam (Nigeria’s dominant faiths) have long taught that menstruation is a time of impurity. Levitical laws in the Bible even describe women on their periods as “unclean.” Add to that generations of hush-hush sexual education, and you get a culture where menstrual blood is seen as something to hide, not something you’d want anywhere near intimacy. “I remember in boarding school, we were told never to let a man touch us during our period or he’d get sick,” says Chidera, a 25-year-old fashion student. Even among men, there’s often discomfort that has less to do with religion and more to do with conditioning. “When I was younger, I used to see sanitary pads in the trash and it would freak me out,” says Tobi, a 28-year-old software engineer in Ibadan. “So when I started dating, I thought period sex was off-limits. It took me growing up and having a few honest conversations to unlearn that.”

So, is it bad? Medically, not at all. In fact, according to a gynecologist, Dr. Edet, there’s no inherent health risk to period sex as long as it’s consensual and protected. She tells BSide that having sex during menstruation can even come with benefits. “For some women, orgasms help relieve menstrual cramps because they trigger uterine contractions that expel prostaglandins — the chemicals that cause cramps in the first place. There’s also increased natural lubrication, which can make sex more comfortable.”

However, there is one crucial caveat: safety. The risks associated with period sex are not due to the blood itself being “toxic,” as was believed in some historical contexts (a 1920s theory about menstrual blood containing a ‘menotoxin‘ that caused flowers to wilt has been thoroughly debunked by modern science). Transmitting or contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs), particularly blood-borne ones like HIV and Hepatitis, is higher during menstruation. The cervix is slightly more open, and the presence of blood can create a more conducive environment for viruses and bacteria to thrive. So using condoms is especially important. Imperative to note also is that period sex doesn’t prevent pregnancy. Ovulation cycles vary, and sperm can live up to five days inside the body.

So why all the fear and disgust? As mentioned earlier, it is most likely simply visual. “Blood is one of those things that freaks people out, even when it’s completely natural,” explains Dr. Edet. “We accept blood in hospitals, in movies, in sports. But the moment it’s menstrual, it becomes shameful.” 

“It’s funny, men can sweat all over you, but a drop of period blood is suddenly too much,” 23-year-old Aisha says. 

If curiosity is winning out over conditioning, and you and your partner decide to explore, how do you manage the practicalities? The key is preparation. First, talk about it. Openly. This is not the time for assumptions. Ensure both partners are genuinely enthusiastic and comfortable. Address any concerns and set the scene in a way that minimises anxiety. “Consent and comfort are everything,” says Dr. Edet. “If one partner is uncomfortable, don’t force it.”

Practical tips help too: dark towels and keeping wet wipes nearby make things less messy. If a tampon or menstrual cup is in use, it must be removed before intercourse. A forgotten tampon can be pushed further into the vaginal canal, leading to infection or requiring medical removal. Menstrual discs, which sit higher in the vagina, are sometimes advertised as an option for mess-free period sex, but still require careful attention and removal afterward. And if either partner feels pain, stop immediately because the uterus can be more sensitive during menstruation. Sex in the shower is the universally endorsed, mess-free option. The running water takes care of the cleanup instantly but certain positions, like missionary or anywhere where the menstruating partner is lying on their back, can also help minimise mess thanks to gravity. Afterwards, a warm, gentle wash is all that’s needed. Avoid harsh soaps or douching, which can disrupt the natural vaginal pH balance and lead to infections. 

As younger Nigerians grow up with more access to information and less tolerance for hypocrisy, conversations like these are becoming less scandalous and more normal. For some couples, talking openly about period sex has actually deepened intimacy. “It made us closer,” says Chidera. “It showed me he wasn’t disgusted by my body. We just laid a towel and laughed about it.” 

“When we talk about this stuff, it’s not just to be edgy,” Titi, a 22-year-old writer, insists. “It’s to normalise being human. Periods happen every month. Why pretend otherwise?” Femi says he now laughs at how seriously he once took the taboo. “It’s funny, yeah? We act like we’re so modern but one mention of period sex, and suddenly everyone’s a priest.”

Aisha agrees. “At the end of the day,” she says, “it’s just sex. With blood. People need to chill.”