Growing up, many of us were enchanted by the grandeur of weddings—endless food, everyone dressed to the nines. In Nigeria, weddings are a major event, but recently, it’s become hard to distinguish between its true purpose, whether it is celebrating love or flaunting wealth. 

These days, weddings resemble extravagant festivals with lavish venues, multiple outfit changes, high-profile entertainers, and hundreds of guests. The trend has gone global, with Nigerians abroad hosting extravagant “fake weddings” just for the thrill. In the middle of the craze, couples often lose the true essence of weddings—unity and enduring love.

The financial burden is significant. Many couples, eager to meet societal expectations, rack up debt or deplete savings, leading to long-term financial strain and stress. The pressure to outdo previous weddings often drives couples to overspend on unnecessary elements, from elaborate photoshoots to multi-day events.

However, a growing number of couples are choosing simpler, more personal weddings focused on love rather than the noise. This shift agrees with the original point of a wedding as a celebration of  the start of a new life together, not draining your bank account. Tofa and Tsitse Olugbemi’s full wedding journey—from their pre-wedding shoot to their civil, traditional, and white wedding ceremonies recently went viral, and people can’t stop talking about it. They didn’t say a word; their one-of-a-kind wedding made it clear they had the celebration they truly wanted.

BSide had the pleasure of speaking with them about their unique celebration, and they shared some fascinating insights into their decision-making process and the inspiration behind their big day.

BSide: What inspired you to take such an unconventional approach to your wedding?

Tofa: We didn’t have any specific inspiration. We just stayed true to what we do in our everyday lives. It felt normal to us; though we get why others might see it as unconventional.

Tsitse: It was all about incorporating pieces and brands we’ve loved for ages. The wedding was my chance to bring my dream wardrobe to life.

BSide: Who designed your outfits?

Tofa: My outfits were crafted by three designers. Ejiro Amos Tafiri designed the top for the civil wedding, while Blvck Elite Culture handled the bottoms. Blvck Elite Culture also created my suit and shirt for the white wedding, and Ugo Monye designed everything for the traditional ceremony. For the after-party, Blvck Elite Culture came through again.

Tsitse: Abiola Olusola designed my civil look, and my wedding dress was by Ohlanna bu Zikora. The reception dress was by Nyosi and 21 Wool Street, and Mazelle Bridal crafted my traditional outfits. Pepperrow designed my after-party outfit.

@tsi.tse

From ‘I do’ to the after-party, our wedding looks came together perfectly🤎@Tofawearscoolpants 🎥 : @toritse.o #lovewanTT24

♬ original sound – Tsitse

BSide: How did you decide on the unique elements and traditions you included in your ceremonies?

Tofa: For our court wedding, the standout feature was the art gallery, which was a spontaneous idea born from our shared love for art. We decided to create an exhibition, so I reached out to a friend who’s an artist, and she connected us with a curator. We invited young artists to submit their work, and my wife and I selected pieces that fit our theme, ‘Love Redefined’. As for the pre-wedding shoot, we intentionally avoided the typical look, opting instead for an editorial style that resembles an album cover.

Tsitse: For the white wedding, the decor inspiration stemmed from my aversion to flowers. We opted for drapery instead, embracing a Grecian theme to achieve immaculate results. The intimate setting was intentional, preparing us for the larger traditional wedding. We wanted to exchange vows in front of those genuinely invested in our relationship, not just casual attendees. Our wedding logo was designed to be a family emblem, steering clear of the usual initials-and-flowers design. The pre-wedding shoot was meticulously planned, featuring outfits I’ve long desired, with a focus on volume and style.

BSide: What challenges did you face while planning a wedding that defied the traditional norms?

Tofa and Tsitse: The biggest challenge we faced was numbers. For the white wedding we wanted 70 people. For the big families we come from it was kind of a struggle for that. They didn’t like the restriction caused by the number we put, also considering that it’s the first wedding occurring in both families. It was a tussle. We ended up settling for 120 and it was definitely slightly above it. That was the only major challenge we faced. Our parents know us, so the rest of the activities in the wedding were a bit expected. 

BSide: How did your family and friends react to your non-traditional wedding plans?

Tofa and Tsitse: Our parents and friends were well-acquainted with our tastes and decisions, so nothing really surprised them. The real shock came from distant relatives who didn’t know us as well. They were the ones with the “Aaah!! What’s this?” expressions.

@tsi.tse

Said ‘I DO’ in the presence of God almighty. @Tofawearscoolpants #lovewanTT24

♬ original sound – Tsitse

BSide: What was the most memorable moment of your wedding for you, and why?

Tofa: My favourite moment was our first dance at the white wedding reception. We gave the DJ a playlist and ended with “May I Have This Dance” by Francis and the Lights featuring Chance The Rapper. We spontaneously did the routine from the music video, and it was heartwarming and adorable. We’d watched the video together but had never discussed doing the routine. It felt instinctive, and everyone was amazed.

Tsitse: My standout moment was after the civil ceremony when the exhibition opened to the public. When we returned and saw it packed, I nearly cried.. Seeing so many people come to celebrate, even without knowing me, was incredibly moving.

@tsi.tse

My dream vow ceremony @Tofawearscoolpants #lovewanTT24

♬ original sound – Tsitse

BSide: Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently, or any advice you’d give to other couples planning a unique wedding?

Tofa: I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything happens for a reason, cheesy as it may sound. My advice is to enjoy the process as much as possible, despite the frustrations. Also, hire a great planner—Tess Allure was phenomenal for us, and we can’t recommend her enough.

Tsitse: I didn’t particularly enjoy the wedding planning process, but I wouldn’t change anything specific. If I could, I’d manage my emotions and reactions better in the moment. My advice to other couples is to savour the process and not take things personally. Remember, the day will pass, so stay close to your partner. I was practically my husband’s shadow, which helped us stay grounded. Our planner and team made everything seamless, handling our vision and families perfectly.